Solitary Companionship

And he withdrew himself into the wilderness, and prayed. Luke 5:16 KJV

Do you long for more alone time or are you the type who wants to be with people constantly? Personally, I am the latter. I love to spend time with others and have loved being busy and active. In the past, I became addicted to busyness, striving to carry out everything on my to-do list while perfectly parenting my children. At times, the activity drove me to fantasize about living in a monastery, spending my life totally devoted to God and prayer.

My life took a radical shift when I received the diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue/Fibromyalgia, which forced me to rest for many hours a day. My new life brought not only physical pain, but the ache of being left behind while my family participated in social events. I wrestled with self-pity and depression. I didn’t understand how God could let this happen to me.

Thankfully, I met some godly women on the Internet who offered a listening ear and great encouragement. They too faced chronic illnesses, yet spoke of how they spent the time away from family in prayer, worship and bible reading.  They inspired me to deepen my relationship with God. Over many months, as I invested the time in prayer and worship, I found Him ready and willing to speak to me, to show me love, and to share mysteries from His word.

Now when my family leaves, I relish the opportunity to just be with God. No one needs me, no one interrupts or demands. It struck me this week that I have the best of both worlds. I get to experience the joy of marriage and family and find stretches of time to spend with God, like someone living in a monastery. Since the word monastic comes from the root word meaning alone, I think I’ll now call these occasions my monastery time. 
 
How about you? Do you use time alone to grow, spiritually? If solitude escapes you, can you re-frame your schedule to make more room?