Parents, are you a doorstop?

If you have kids, you know that they like to test the boundaries. However, holding the boundaries can be one of the hardest tasks we face as parents. At times I’ve found myself guilt tripping my kids instead of giving them consequences. Guilt or shame says, “You are bad when you do that – stop it” which sends the message that they are only loved when they do the right thing. Enforcing boundaries, however, says, “You are not allowed to do that and I understand that you’re upset about it” which teaches them they are loved despite bad behavior.

While praying about this issue recently, I felt the Lord say, You are like a doorstop. Your son wants his way, so he pushes at you, but you need to stand firm, holding the door open for his future. He cannot see past tomorrow, so you must hold the vision for him. If you let him get his way in the moment, you are closing the door for a healthy future.

What a picture. I never thought of myself as a doorstop before, and can’t say that I relish the role. But the winds of testing always come and someone needs to be the doorkeeper. We parents have been given the sacred trust of raising adults. I want to step up to that role, so that my kids may experience a more satisfying and relationally healthy future.