Barnyard Glory

Luke 2:7 Because there was no lodging available for them, she wrapped the baby in cloth and laid him in a feeding trough.


Have you ever wondered what went through Mary and Joseph’s minds during the pregnancy and birth of Christ? What did they feel on the long journey to Bethlehem? I picture Mary, with each jolt jostling her pregnant body, thinking, “Why didn’t I just stay home?” By the time they wearily arrived at their destination, they found all the hotels booked. “I told you we should have left earlier,” quipped Joseph.
“If you would have only contacted cousin Peter, we wouldn’t be in this position,”complained Mary.
They both wonder, “Where the heck are we supposed to stay? Surely God has something special prepared.”
Yes, He did - a smelly barn. Perhaps Mary thought (after adjusting her expectations about their housing), that somehow she could get back home before the baby comes. No, that didn’t work out either. Mary delivered their first born in that barn far away from family and the comforts of home. Exhausted, she used the feeding trough as a bassinet. Did anyone bring the hand sanitizer and wet wipes? It’s hard to believe God planned it all.

Have you ever felt called to step out in faith, like Mary and Joseph, only to face countless setbacks and disappointments? Unrealistic expectations along with unbiblical teaching can set us up for frustration and defeat. The prosperity gospel, which equates material blessings with spiritual ones, tells us if you follow God’s dreams your future will be bright. However, they neglect to mention that following God is costly, “We must suffer many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God.” (Acts 14:22)

This Christmas, I am reflecting on the fact that it cost Mary and Joseph dearly to follow God. They probably had to constantly readjust their expectations when faced with the many challenges that came with what was entrusted to them. They had to walk by faith when nothing made sense - an immaculate conception? Friends rejecting them. No room at the Inn? If the circumstances in which God sent his son required hardship and faith, surely we can expect the same.

Are you facing disappointment this Christmas? Did you experience loss this past year? Whatever happened, it doesn’t mean you’ve been forgotten or are unloved. We can see from the first Christmas that a life of faith requires suffering. In this life glory and dung will coexist. If we can accept this, and lay down offenses, we will find meaning, purpose and fulfillment like Mary and Joseph did.

Our Creation

A friend recently shared a vision with me where she saw Jesus walking toward a bassinet where she was lying as a baby. He picked her up and with great joy began singing love songs and dancing around with her in His arms. Then a bright beam of light from above imparted into her specific characteristics, talents, gifting and purpose. She then realized that the room was other worldly, as if this were a picture of her creation before birth. “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world…” Ephesians 1:4

Wait a minute, before the creation of the world? Can that really be true? Well, Psalm 139:13 teaches us, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” God lovingly, carefully and purposely created you. He created you to have a certain hair and skin color, to have certain aptitudes and interests and he created you to love Him. Do you believe it?

Years ago I had my own vision. I saw a large, wrapped gift, sitting on an urban street corner. A shiny, white Suburban pulled up and a well-groomed boy, sitting on the passenger side, powered down the window. Mildly interested, he studied the present. Then he turned up his nose, closed the shaded window, and drove away. Moments later, a barefoot kid in tattered clothes came running around the corner, saw the present and gleefully tore it open.

To me, the gift on the corner represents God offering us new life. But we each have a choice. If we think we don’t need it (like the boy in the suburban) we miss the gift and everything that goes with it. When we realize that our spiritual and emotional state is more like the impoverished kid, then we are in a place to receive it and its benefits.

We also need to see ourselves as God sees us. “You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked” (Rev. 3:17). This is a mystery, that we are both valuable and wretched. We were created and designed by God, but our sin separates us from him. Can you feel it? Can you see the beauty and the corruption in you? In Christ, God is offering the gift of new life. Will you receive it?

The beauty of this gift is that it keeps giving. If you’ve already accepted the gift, what else does God have for you? Never stopping seeking the God of new life because there is always more.

Parents, are you a doorstop?

If you have kids, you know that they like to test the boundaries. However, holding the boundaries can be one of the hardest tasks we face as parents. At times I’ve found myself guilt tripping my kids instead of giving them consequences. Guilt or shame says, “You are bad when you do that – stop it” which sends the message that they are only loved when they do the right thing. Enforcing boundaries, however, says, “You are not allowed to do that and I understand that you’re upset about it” which teaches them they are loved despite bad behavior.

While praying about this issue recently, I felt the Lord say, You are like a doorstop. Your son wants his way, so he pushes at you, but you need to stand firm, holding the door open for his future. He cannot see past tomorrow, so you must hold the vision for him. If you let him get his way in the moment, you are closing the door for a healthy future.

What a picture. I never thought of myself as a doorstop before, and can’t say that I relish the role. But the winds of testing always come and someone needs to be the doorkeeper. We parents have been given the sacred trust of raising adults. I want to step up to that role, so that my kids may experience a more satisfying and relationally healthy future.

Acceptance vs. Control

“Accept one another…” Rom 15:7

I recently asked myself, “What is the opposite of control?” My answer – Acceptance.
The word Accept, means “to accommodate or reconcile yourself to.” If I am focused on accepting someone, there leaves little room for controlling. One way to love others is by accepting them. According to Mautrana, love is to “Open up for him room for existence beside us” (from Tree of Knowledge). When we make a place for someone next to us, we accept him.

What if instead of saying “I love you” I said, “I accept you.” This can make us control freaks cringe. Some of us have a list of things we don’t accept about our family members or friends. Wouldn’t it be better if they changed? We feel safer having things our way. But it’s a false sense of security and puts our own wants, wishes and desires, above others. We’re saying what I want is more important than what you want, which is the antithesis of love.

I’ve been practicing acceptance lately and it’s not easy. My family members, on the other hand, seem happier. I’m learning that I can be content even when people aren’t changing the way I think they should. Maybe if I let others be the gift that they are, let them struggle, give them grace, we will all find more peace.

Dead End Dialogues

I love talking with my family and friends. There’s nothing more satisfying than a long, deep conversation. But haven’t we all had lengthy discussions with people where, afterward, we felt no closer to the person?  I recently had the revelation that  long talks can actually build walls. Now that seems crazy on one hand, because communication is the key to intimacy. So how can it build walls?

I’ve observed that when someone tells me every little detail about the trip she took or what she did last week, I find myself backing away. I have this picture in my mind of these bricks being placed one on top of another as the friend talks. Sometimes beneath this is a fear of rejection. I had this problem early in my marriage. My husband used to say, “I feel like you aren’t talking to me, you’re just talking.” I wasn’t sensitive to my listener. I was building walls.

Another intimacy blocker is to hide your true feelings. You agree with the other person, you nod and smile, but all the while you have another story in your heart and mind that you are withholding. A lot of talking may go on, but no resolution or intimacy results. Talking a lot can be a form of manipulation - you get attention from the other person but no intimacy - a dead end dialogue.

Do you have deep, satisfying exchanges with others? If not, try paying attention to your speech patterns. If you tend to talk a lot, ask yourself, “Why am I saying this?” And be honest with yourself. Also, check in with your listener – do they seem engaged or are they inching away from you? Are you hiding your true feelings in conversations? Take a risk and share your heart with someone you trust. We all have an opportunity, when we talk with people, to build intimacy or walls. What will you choose?

Spiritual Bird Spikes

Recently while looking out my bedroom window, my attention was drawn to the bird spikes in the eaves. I had noticed them before, at other places, they’re those spikey things over the lettering outside of stores. Their job is to prevent birds from nesting. If a bird flies into the eaves on our balcony or on top of the store sign, the spikes will poke her, causing her to look elsewhere to build a nest.

I can relate to feeling poked. This year we were forced to move out of our nest, a spacious, comfortable home. We’ve had to rely on the benevolence of others and deal with the stress of unemployment. I didn’t like being poked, but it’s as if God had forced me out of my comfort zone – saying, “Don’t nest here.”

Like a good parent, it is often God’s desire to use the problems and difficulties of life to teach and change us. Every child growing up needs boundaries – they want to know what they can or can’t do. This helps them to feel secure, even if they balk at the discipline. Perhaps it is the same way with God, he allows hardship so we learn to rely upon him. He is a good father, seeking to lead us down his path to a better nesting place.

Has God allowed bird spikes in your life? Maybe you’ve lost your home, a job or a relationship. Instead of complaining or cursing the spikes we can ask God what he is teaching us. We can tell him we don’t like it, but ask him to show us what purpose and meaning we can derive from it. We can learn to trust him to be a good parent, working all things for our ultimate good.

Indirect Control

Today we will look at the roles women play when they control indirectly, from Sullivan’s book, The Control Trap. Indirect controllers usually have self-esteem issues and dislike direct requests or offers. They use subtle ways to undermine and manipulate people. Here are the roles these women take:

The Manipulator: This woman is usually quiet and unassuming. She often gives mixed messages, like, “It’s okay, I’ll just sit here in the dark, or “Bill seems like a kind person, but he sure could stand to lose some weight.” She plays on a person’s guilt to sway him. She won’t directly ask someone for help but will make them feel guilty or obligated so that they will help.

The Martyr: This woman also suffers from low self-esteem and has trouble receiving from others. She gives and sacrifices for her family, but if she received from them, she’d lose her superior position as the “giver.” Her family members feel guilty and obligated for all that the Martyr does for them. She comes off looking like a saint to outsiders, but she really has trapped her family in immaturity, as she doesn’t let them do things for themselves.

The Invalid: This individual uses illness to control people. If someone does something that upsets her, she gets a “head ache.” This shuts down communication and causes the family member to feel guilty for upsetting her. The Invalid’s sicknesses keep her at the center of attention. She expresses her desire to be a better parent/spouse but can’t give up the power being sick gives her.

The Mask: A woman in this role has an ultra sweet demeanor, always wanting to not be a burden and saying things like, “I don’t want to take up too much of your valuable time.” This makes it difficult for others to confront her. However, if you cross her, the mask comes off and she goes into attack mode.

The Flirt uses her feminine charms to control others. She knows just how to bat her eyes and fling her hair to get others to do things for her. Usually deep inside she harbors a fear of intimacy that keeps her from close relationships.

The Baby uses tears to shut down conversations due to their “upsetting” nature. She uses baby talk to protect herself from adult problems and conflict.

Sexual Politics – A woman may take advantage of her lower sex-drive to manipulate her husband. She may turn on the charms when she wants something from her husband or keep her legs folded if he doesn’t give her what she wants.

The Belittler uses subtle put-downs and jokes to control her husband. She tries to shame him, make herself feel better or to get him to change. She also might go on and on about how Sally’s husband took her on a Hawaiian vacation, implicitly chastising her husband for not doing the same.

Do you see yourself in any of these? I think everyone is controlling at times. Since low self-esteem is at the root of control one way out is learning to love and accept yourself. Take a year and study God’s love and let His love begin to change you. Most of the reasons we control are due to unresolved issues from our past. For that, I highly recommend healing prayer. See the book Prayers that Heal the Heart by Virkler.

Direct Methods of the Control Freak

Today, I’m looking at the roles that Control Freaks take, from Barbara Sullivan’s book, The Control Trap for women. We’ll first look at the “Direct” roles – The Boss, The Mother, The Nag, and The Intimidator. The next post will cover the “Indirect” methods described by Sullivan.

The Boss – She is the one who rules her whole household. Since her husband has evaded family problems and perhaps works long hours, The Boss has made it her role to manage everyone. Sullivan describes a mother who has bombarded her oldest son with all the reasons he shouldn’t go to college out of state, causing constant friction. Her son actually wants to go out of state to avoid her, but also feels vaguely guilty because The Boss now has an ulcer. When her husband or kids have a problem, she is there to “rescue” them.

The Mother – This woman is the type who mothers her own husband. A subtle example of this is when a wife reaches over and wipes her husbands chin while they are eating. She has crossed over the line to treat her husband like a child. Often The Mother is an enabler of a substance abuser. She “cleans up, covers up, makes up for him…scolds, punishes and then accepts back her wayward child.” She feels powerless to change her husband, all the while reinforcing the unhealthy pattern.

The Nag – Delilah, from the bible is an example of The Nag. Delilah repeatedly asked Sampson the secret to his strength, until she wore him down and he revealed it. The Nag drives her family away, causing her husband to avoid her and her children to ultimately rebel. She often doesn’t recognize her behavior, thinking she is just reminding or helping.

The Intimidator – She controls through simmering anger, erupting whenever things don’t go her way.  Family members are always checking with The Intimidator to see how she is responding. If she smiles, they relax, if she pouts, they feel shamed. Her family tiptoes around her, trying not to upset her, but all the while resenting her.

Do you see yourself in any of these descriptions? I do. If you want to change, ask your family members if they feel controlled by you. Let your spouse know that you are working on this and give him permission to lovingly point out when you are domineering. My husband and I have developed a just-between-us code for this, so it’s less threatening. Awareness is the first step to change. Make choices to turn away from control and ask God to transform you into the accepting person you were meant to be.

Are you a Control Freak?

     If your coworker or family member behaves in a way that bothers you, do you try to change them? Do you make unsolicited suggestions to others? Do you manipulate to get your way? If so, you may be a control freak.
     I confess that I, myself, am a recovering control freak. Many people, like myself, became controllers after having been abused or manipulated as children. When young people are shamed and disempowered, they try to regain a feeling of control. Fear of being violated again drives the need to be in control.
     As this issue surfaced in my life, God showed me that control is actually misplaced trust. Control trusts one’s self to feel safe, rather than depending on God. But how can we trust in a God who allows all kinds of destructive and horrific abuse to occur? One time, I screamed– “How could you let that abuse happen to me??” I heard His gentle answer, “Because I knew that one day, I would heal you.” Another time I wailed, “Where were you?” He replied, “I fell down the stairs with you.”
     God cares deeply about each one of us and wants us to be whole. When we dare to believe this, we can begin to heal on a deep level. When we start to follow the way of repentance and forgiveness, set up by our Creator, we begin to change. We need to bring before God our hurts and forgive those who have wounded and disempowered us. We also should turn away from the wrong ways we’ve responded to those who have hurt us. This process has many layers and can take years, but the results are sure.
     A major issue with control is it can look good, even beneficial. “I’m just trying to help my husband get to bed on time,” I may protest. But God is looking at my heart. Am I really trying to help, or is it that I want him in bed so I know where he is and what he is doing? If I am honest with myself, I am seeking to change his behavior so I feel safe. I am asking him to give up the dignity of making his own choices so I can feel a certain way. The Lord sees this as dehumanizing. Controlling behavior actually says, “I’m willing to use and abuse you to make myself feel safe or strong.” Control, then, taken to the extreme, is akin to rape. I don’t think anyone truly wants to be on that path.
     If you struggle with issues of control, it is vital that you see how destructive it can be. We must turn away from controlling others and release them into God’s hands. Repent and release. If you feel this issue is intractable in your life there is help. I’ve listed some resources below.
We were designed to live in harmony and peace, not controlling and manipulating one another. Let’s reach for God’s love and forgiveness and ask Him to transform us into the loving, giving people He intended us to be. Let’s take steps toward change so that those around us experience healing acceptance instead of confining control.


Resources:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
The Control Trap by Barbara Sullivan
Prayers that Heal the Heart by Virkler

Would God say that?

Recently the idea occurred to me to ask myself, “Would God say that to me?” So many different thoughts pass through my mind in a day, but how many of them are beneficial? While swimming in our pool the other day, I heard, “I am SO out of shape!” Then I considered, “Would God say that to me?” No, God doesn’t accuse me, he might correct or convict me, but he never accuses me. So I said to myself, “I’m getting stronger and stronger.”

Our very thoughts can predict our future. If we “know” we aren’t going to get that job, and so don’t even apply for it, we fulfill our own words. If we think, “No one is going to like me” we often act in such a way that people steer away from us. God created language and designed us to communicate with one another. Written into the very fabric of human existence is the power of words. Since thoughts proceed words, we should think about what we are thinking about. When negative thoughts come into our minds, we can speak into the opposite spirit. If I think, “I’m never going to finish this project” I can say, “By the grace of God I will finish.”

I want to challenge you, when a questionable thought comes into your mind, ask yourself “Would God say that to me?” Then speak into the opposite spirit. I’m going to put a post-it note up right now to remind myself. How about you?

Humility and Surrender

Earlier last week, I almost sank into depression. As I considered that our family would be moving into a small apartment, my thoughts were swirling… Is this what I get for following God? Where are we going to put all our stuff – I won’t even have a garage to stick stuff in. Why does a little apartment have to cost so much? I’m “downwardly mobile.” We had such a nice home and now….

Wait. What is this? This is an attack. Satan is trying to steal my peace and joy. He wants me to foresee a rotten future and feel sorry for myself. Okay, but isn’t it true that I’m downwardly mobile? Well, wasn’t Jesus downwardly mobile? I thought of Philippians 2:6 “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant…” Jesus left his home in heaven, to come down here – a definite downgrade. However, because Jesus did this… “God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name.” Sometimes you have to go down before you go up.

As I was pondering this thought, a song came to mind. I’ve learned to pay attention to the songs that are on my heart…

I'm giving You my heart, and all that is within

I lay it all down, for the sake of You my King.

I'm giving You my dreams, I’m laying down my rights,

I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I Surrender

All to You, all to You

Oh, right. I need to surrender, to give this to God and let Him have His way and lay aside all the doubts and fears about my future… “What if my husband’s contract job ends and we can’t afford to stay. What if…” I gave it all to Him.

I was looking forward to going to church and what song did they just “happen” to sing? “Surrender.” I got on my knees and wept, surrendering all my fears, my future, my pride – laying it all at His feet. Recently, my hubby put down the security deposit and we are moving this month. I’m choosing to focus on the positive, we get to live in a nice, clean apartment and my kids will swim in the pool this summer. On to another adventure with Jesus at the helm, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

(Marc James, Surrender)

Humility and Love

Humility and Love

I recently finished reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller.  In it, Miller makes a startling observation. He says Christians use love as a commodity. If someone wears the right clothes, speaks and acts like we do, we accept them. If they look unkempt or act strangely– we withhold love and acceptance.

Miller said that the season in his life where he felt most accepted by people was when he was living with hippies. They had no agenda for him, no code of honor, they just ‘let it be.’ How tragic that the people who love God are sometimes the last to give it.

When we don’t accept people as God calls us to, we end up turning Christianity into a bunch of rules. Then we sit around judging each other for not measuring up. Often, we fear rejection from others, and unwittingly become a slave to needing to act a certain way to be loved (this is Performance Orientation - see previous post).

In Matthew 5:46 Jesus says, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even tax collectors doing that?”  Jesus calls his followers to something much higher then the worldly standards for love. He calls us to love the unlovely.

In the bible, the main message of First Corinthians chapter thirteen, is – If I do good deeds, but don’t have love in my heart, it counts for nothing.  Nothing.

God isn’t solely looking for actions, he is looking at the motivation of our hearts. If this sounds impossible, I think it’s supposed to be. God doesn’t want us to love out of human strength, he wants us to be participate with him in supernatural love. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that we can accomplish this.

I’m getting the revelation that true love requires humility. You can’t strive to be popular or well liked and love people like Christ calls us to. In humbling ourselves and asking God for his love, we will begin to love like He does.

I believe the greatest cure for lack of love (and Performance Orientation) is having a heart revelation of God’s deep and abiding care for us, personally. Years ago, I consciously took time to immerse myself in God’s love. For a year I only read scripture passages on the love of God. I only listened to music or teaching series on the topic. Slowly my heart began to receive God’s love like never before. I began to accept myself, and others, in a new way. I didn’t need other people’s approval to feel okay. Freedom.

I’ve also found that when I ask God to help me love someone, He provides. When I’ve been obedient to reach out to “the least of these” often I’m blessed in a way I hadn’t anticipated.  Sometimes all that is necessary is simple obedience.

I love the phrase “Jesus reduce me to love.” Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Humility and Performance Orientation

Humility and Performance Orientation

For a season in my life, many of the Christians around me believed that in order to be a good example toward others, we should project an appearance of perfection. We should dress nicely and try to do good works. While something didn’t seem quite right about that, I jumped right in, determining to do the “right” things so that I would be esteemed and liked by everyone.

Later, I came to see this approach as Performance Orientation (PO). PO means the bent of your life is to look good/do the right thing, so that you can feel good about yourself and gain acceptance from others and God.

The problem with Performance Orientation is love can neither be bought nor earned.

God began to change my viewpoint after I attended an experiential Christian conference. It was revealed to me there how fake I had become – how totally PO I was acting. God showed me that what I had to offer people was actually my own brokenness.

I began to get the revelation that you can’t be Performance Oriented and broken at the same time. I discovered that PO actually has its roots in pride. Pride hides her imperfections. Pride is Puffed-up, Rigid, Independent, Demanding and Egocentric. When I am Performance Oriented I risk God’s opposition, since He opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

The bible instructs us many times to humble ourselves. Therefore, looking good in front of others is actually the opposite of what God wants us to do. The people in the bible who were the most “together” were the ones Jesus had the strongest words for. He called the Pharisees white washed tombs – clean on the outside but rotting within. Isn’t that what we’re doing when needing to look perfect?

When I’m honest about my problems and weaknesses people open up to me about their struggles. This builds intimacy and depth to relationships. The fruit then, of living from a place of brokenness is intimacy and encouragement for others who struggle.

Even though humbling ourselves is difficult, each of us has a choice everyday – do I project an air of perfection and risk God’s judgment and isolation from people or do I humble myself and gain the favor and grace of God, along with intimacy with others? What will you choose?

Humility and Pride

Humility and Pride

For most of my life, I’ve believed that humility is a vital virtue. But not so fun when it’s my turn. Recently, our family had to move in with a family from our church. My husband, Jor was working on his own business for a couple years and neither funding nor a job was coming together. After getting counsel from our pastor and other Christian friends, we were encouraged to find someone to move in with.

When I started to face this fact, I spent hours crying. I didn’t want to lose our spacious home of six years. I felt ashamed by the apparent failure. I hated the fact that it showed that I didn’t “have it all together.” I feared others would say, “Well you should have done XY and Z or you wouldn’t have ended up in this situation.” But God showed me that this was pride.

I don’t see myself as a particularly prideful person. Usually, when I do something wrong, I admit it and apologize. I try to be honest and real with people. However, when it came down to moving out of our home, I didn’t want to tell people. I felt fine telling those really close to us. But when it came to others, I cringed.

I’ve been listening to this song called Alabaster Box by Julie Meyer (from Ihop). The song is referring to the story of a sinful woman in the bible who was so thankful for what Jesus had done for her, that she did a scandalous thing. She took a jar of very expensive perfume – probably her dowry – and broke it at Jesus’ feet. Some on-looking religious leaders judged her saying, “What a waste,” but she didn’t care. The lyrics, “All I have, and all I am…I give it all to you…I take my alabaster box and I break it open. Let the fragrance arise.” Her thankfulness was so strong that she scorned what others thought and showered her love and worship on Jesus. Her sacrifice rose as a fragrant offering. She gave up her future and in reckless abandon, gave it all to Jesus.

Jesus said, “Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.” Oh. Right. I had bought into the worldly mindset that says you’ve arrived when you “have it all.” And here is Jesus saying, give it all. “Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Very counter intuitive when you live in materialistic Silicon Valley. Proverbs 18:12 says, “Humility comes before honor,” not worldly success. How does humility come before honor? There is one stark example from scripture – Jesus’ humiliating death on criminal’s cross. Because of Jesus’ obedience, God gave him the name that is above all other names. Humility came before honor.

When God called Jor to start his business, I thought that He would bless us by allowing it to succeed. Instead, we crashed, financially. Did God let us down? Did we miss something? After the disappointment phase I came to the surrender phase. Could I be like the woman with the alabaster jar? Could I give up all I had, in love and adoration of Jesus, rejecting, “what others might think?”

Even though it hurt to lose our home, God was also blessing. The people who took us in had just remodeled their home so as to use their gift of hospitality. They invited us to become part of their family, since their own children were grown. Days after our move, I felt that God was giving me the Christian parents that I never had and grandparent for my kids. They’ve fed us, shopped for us, given us three bedrooms and met more needs than I could imagine.

I’m learning that following Jesus does not guarantee material success. He cares about spiritual progress, not upward mobility. He allows humbling circumstance into our lives, to test our hearts. Will we truly give up what we have to follow? God wants to bless us but not always in the way we want to be blessed. It is in humbling ourselves that we can find the treasures that can only by found at His feet.

Truth and Lies

"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to distract himself...gives way to passions and coarse pleasures." Dostoyevsky, The Brother's Karamazov

This quote reminds us where lies lead – isolation and debauchery. However, through honesty and humility we can be on the course God has for us and find the joy and intimacy we were created for.

Quote on Parenting

This quote by M. Scott Peck really spoke to me.

"It is the task of parents to assist their children to achieve their own independence...It is essential (that they) tolerate their own loneliness, so as to allow and even encourage their children to leave them...To discourage separation (is) immature and self-centered...destructive."

God's love

Ps 136:1 Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever

Endure – to carry on through despite hardships; to continue in existence, to last. (American Heritage Dict)

God’s love carries us through hard times and hardships – always.
God’s love LASTS, it keeps going – forever.

God’s love "always hopes, always trusts always perseveres. Love never fails." (I Cor 13:7-8).

Nothing can separate us from God’s love. Hardships may come our way – we may go thru the darkest valley – but he is with us. (Ps 23) Nothing can separate us – if there is a severe famine, God’s love is still there. If we are in danger, God’s love is there. If we are persecuted or treated unfairly, God’s love is there. In the face of death itself – God’s love is there. “For your sake we face death all day long.” (Ps 44:22) Death cannot separate us from the love of God. We can face death because God’s love upholds us. Nothing in all creation can separate us from the love of Christ.

Separate – to set or keep apart; to space apart; to differentiate or distinguish; to become disconnected or severed. (American Herit.)

God’s love is always with us – circumstances do not disconnect us from God’s love. If something terrible happens, it does not sever our connection with God’s love.
God’s love is upon us like white on rice. You cannot separate white from rice. You can’t make God’s love go away. It endures – it stays with you despite hardships. Hardships do not mean God doesn’t love you!! God’s love does not fail. He never lets go.

Daughters and Sons

They crash into your life with unending demands. Clanging alarms requiring sacrificial efforts. Fulfillment seeps in as well – the snuggles, the smiles, the boundless list of “firsts.” Those cherished words – “I wuv woo.”

In time the demands lessen. Now everyone gets dressed, brushes teeth and gets a drink of water for themselves. They protest school work - yet play whole-heartedly. Pride and joy, along with teaching and training, fill your days.

Suddenly, they sprout much higher. Conversations spike – advice rejected. You push and pull and push and pull. Newfound independence leaves a hole of loneliness. A young adult is now emerging – and hopefully a friend.

Thoughts on HInd's Feet on High Places

Hind’s Feet on High Places
By Hannah Hurnard

“This is the story of how Much-Afraid escaped from her Fearing relatives and went with the Shepherd to the High Places where “perfect love casts out fear.’”

“The Shepherd stooped and touched the flowers…then said…Humble yourself, and you will find that Love is spreading a carpet of flowers beneath you feet.”

“Those who come down to the furnace go on their way afterwards as royal men and women, princes and princesses of the Royal Line.”

“Then she heard the Shepherd saying, ‘I bring my people into Egypt that they, too, may be threshed and ground into the finest powder and may become bread corn for the use of others. But remember, though bread corn is bruised, no one threshes it for ever.’”

Reflections
Can you hear the Royal summons? Will you accept God's invitation? If you are fearful and anxious, great! Now you have an opportunity to be free. Freedom comes through humility. It comes from realizing your need for God and that your current hardship is actually your appointed teacher. As you humble yourself and learn, you will come into your true identity and become the gift that those around you so desperately need.

More reflections on Hind's Feet

 Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 4:13pm 

Hind’s Feet on High Places
By Hannah Hurnard

“My Lord is of very tender compassion to them that are afraid.”

“The Shepherd laughed…Why I love doing preposterous things, he replied. Why I don’t know anything more exhilarating and delightful than turning weakness into strength, and fear into faith, and that which has been marred into perfection.”

“Much-Afraid, don’t ever allow yourself to begin trying to picture what it will be like. Believe me, when you get to the places which you dread, you will find that they are as different as possible from what you have imagined."

God really cares about us and doesn’t want us to be afraid. Fear can “begin painting a picture on the screen” of our thoughts and we must learn to reject it. Many years ago, I was tormented with thoughts of how horrible it would be for me to have to tell my college friends that my mom had died of cancer. When the time actually came, it was nothing like I had imagined it. God gave me peace. It is vital that we do not envision a negative future for ourselves. Whatever comes our way, God's grace will be there.

More HInd's Feet

 Wednesday, August 26, 2009 at 10:12pm 

Hind’s Feet on High Places
By Hannah Hurnard

“Much-Afraid, said the Shepherd very gently…don’t you know by now that I never think of you as you are now, but as you will be when I have brought you to the Kingdom of Love and washed you from all the stains and defilement of the journey.”

I like thinking about how God sees us as already complete. How radical would it be if we all lived from the place of knowing deep down, who we are in Christ and treating others like the new creations they are becoming.

“All you have to do is to trust yourself to the aerial chair and be carried in perfect safety up to the place to which I wish to take you and without any struggling or striving on your part.”

“In a minute they were moving smoothly and steadily to the High Places, which had looked so impossibly out of reach, supported entirely from above, and with nothing to do but enjoy the marvelous view.”

Sometimes we must go through difficult trials and the way seems impossible and we need a deeper trust to keep going. Other times, God carries us above our trials. Either way, trials require faith. We can get victory in our lives when we entrust ourselves completely to God and enjoy the view.

An Imperfect Christmas

Sometimes at Christmas we can dwell on what we don’t have. It is at Christmastime that “Want is keenly felt.” Perhaps we don’t have enough money or we don’t have the companionship of a spouse, parent or children, maybe someone we love is ill. We all are living with the pain and uncertainty of an imperfect world.

When I think about the first Christmas, I’m struck with the imperfections of the coming of Christ. Mary gave up her reputation of being a good Jewish girl to become an unwed mother. She traveled a long distance, away from home and loved ones, only to give birth in an inconvenient place. If Christ were born in modern times, all the hotel rooms would be booked. Couldn’t God get Mary and Joseph a hotel room? No, there were no hotel rooms, but someone offered them their garage. Mary gave birth in a garage and put the baby on the back seat of a car. Not my idea of the best provision.

Mary and Joseph were further inconvenienced when God told them to leave Israel. Not many of us would relish being told to move to a place where we didn’t know anyone, not to mention the hardship of living in a foreign culture - another less than ideal circumstance.

One message of Christmas is that God did not come to earth to give us our ideal life. He came to be a light into our darkness. He came to guide us toward hope and truth. He came to be Emmanuel – God with us. So if this Christmas you are keenly aware of the imperfections of this life, know that He came to carry your burdens and share your sorrow. Like the first Christmas, He won’t make your life perfect, but He will be an “ever-present help in time of need.”(Ps. 46:1) Despite our circumstances, we can still rejoice that God loved us enough to send a savior - Christ our Lord.

Stars and Dots

A retelling of You Are Special by Max Lucado

Once there was a village of wooden people, called the Wemmicks. All the Wemmicks were crafted by a master woodworker named Eli, who lived at the top of a nearby hill.

Everyday, from morning until night, the Wemmicks went around giving each other stars and dots. If a Wemmick looked good or did something special, he got stars. But if the Wemmick looked poorly or did something stupid, he was given dots.

The Wemmicks who received stars felt so good. This motivated them to do something else that would get them more stars.

But there were also those who received mostly dots, which caused even more discouragement, earning them even more dots.

Punchinello was one of the latter. It seemed no matter what he did, he only received dots. One day he met a Wemmick named Lucia. Punchinello was intrigued by Lucia because she didn’t have any dots or stars. Punchinello approached Lucia to ask her why this was so. Lucia explained that people tried to give her stars and dots, but they didn’t stick. She told him that she went to visit Eli everyday.

“What does that do?” Punchinello inquired.

“Why don’t you pay him a visit and see,” replied Lucia, as she bounded down the road.

That night Punchinello contemplated visiting Eli. “What if Eli won’t see me? What if he sees my dots and rejects me?” Then he thought about how absurd it was for the Wemmicks to be constantly giving out stars and dots. Maybe there was something different about Eli. He decided to visit him the next day.

When morning broke, Punchinello hiked up to the top of the hill to the large workshop. Everything seems so big and for a moment Punchinello considered turning back. But then he heard someone calling him by name. He turned and looked, it was Eli, “Punchinello, I’m so glad you’re here. I was hoping you’d come. Come here – let me see you.”

Shaking a little, Punchinello approached Eli saying, “How did you know my name?”

“I know you because I created you. Let me have a look…Hmm I see you’ve received a lot of dots.”

“Eli, I can’t seem to help it, I try to be good.”

“I’m not concerned with what other Wemmick think of you.”

“You’re not?”

“No, and you needn’t be troubled by what others think either. What matters is that I created you and I think you’re valuable.”

“I am?”

“Yes, you are special because I created you.”

“Why doesn’t Lucia have any stars or dots?”

“Because she has found that what I think of her is more meaningful than what the Wemmicks think. The dots and stars don’t have to stick. If you come and visit me everyday, and begin to trust in my love, you’ll find you won’t need dots or stars.”

“I won’t?”

Eli looked deeply into Punchinellos eyes, “In time, you will see. I created you and you are not a mistake.”

As Punchinello left the workshop he pondered the sincerity of Eli’s words, just then a dot dropped off.