Humility and Surrender

Earlier last week, I almost sank into depression. As I considered that our family would be moving into a small apartment, my thoughts were swirling… Is this what I get for following God? Where are we going to put all our stuff – I won’t even have a garage to stick stuff in. Why does a little apartment have to cost so much? I’m “downwardly mobile.” We had such a nice home and now….

Wait. What is this? This is an attack. Satan is trying to steal my peace and joy. He wants me to foresee a rotten future and feel sorry for myself. Okay, but isn’t it true that I’m downwardly mobile? Well, wasn’t Jesus downwardly mobile? I thought of Philippians 2:6 “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant…” Jesus left his home in heaven, to come down here – a definite downgrade. However, because Jesus did this… “God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name.” Sometimes you have to go down before you go up.

As I was pondering this thought, a song came to mind. I’ve learned to pay attention to the songs that are on my heart…

I'm giving You my heart, and all that is within

I lay it all down, for the sake of You my King.

I'm giving You my dreams, I’m laying down my rights,

I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I Surrender

All to You, all to You

Oh, right. I need to surrender, to give this to God and let Him have His way and lay aside all the doubts and fears about my future… “What if my husband’s contract job ends and we can’t afford to stay. What if…” I gave it all to Him.

I was looking forward to going to church and what song did they just “happen” to sing? “Surrender.” I got on my knees and wept, surrendering all my fears, my future, my pride – laying it all at His feet. Recently, my hubby put down the security deposit and we are moving this month. I’m choosing to focus on the positive, we get to live in a nice, clean apartment and my kids will swim in the pool this summer. On to another adventure with Jesus at the helm, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

(Marc James, Surrender)