Earlier last week, I almost sank into depression. As I considered that our family would be moving into a small apartment, my thoughts were swirling… Is this what I get for following God? Where are we going to put all our stuff – I won’t even have a garage to stick stuff in. Why does a little apartment have to cost so much? I’m “downwardly mobile.” We had such a nice home and now….
Wait. What is this? This is an attack. Satan is trying to steal my peace and joy. He wants
As I was pondering this thought, a song came to mind. I’ve learned to pay attention to the songs that are on my heart…
I'm giving You my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down, for the sake of You my King.
I'm giving You my dreams, I’m laying down my rights,
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life
And I Surrender
All to You, all to You
Oh, right. I need to surrender, to give this to God and let Him have His way and lay aside all the doubts and fears about my future… “What if my husband’s contract job ends and we can’t afford to stay. What if…” I gave it all to Him.
I was looking forward to going to church and what song did they just “happen” to sing? “Surrender.” I got on my knees and wept, surrendering all my fears, my future, my pride – laying it all at His feet. Recently, my hubby put down the security deposit and we are moving this month. I’m choosing to focus on the positive, we get to live in a nice, clean apartment and my kids will swim in the pool this summer. On to another adventure with Jesus at the helm, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
(Marc James, Surrender)
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2 comments:
I think it's harder to accept when the downgrade isn't by *choice* - missionaries generally give up "creature comforts" and financial security because they want to. Jesus laid down all those things because he *wanted* to.
When we have to lay things down that we aren't ready to lay down - well, that's a lot harder to swallow.
During the incredibly miserable year when we were living in a one-bedroom in Anaheim (complete with barely functional air conditioning and hookers out front) and had $ 20 a week for food, I tried to remind myself that a vast number of Christians in second and third world countries would have still considered us very much materially blessed.
I was always jealous of Paul's claim to be content in all circumstances, because frankly, most of the time I am *not* there.
Birgit, thanks for your comment. I have been memorizing that verse about contentment and it has been a blessing.
You know sometimes it takes more faith to choose to give things up rather than accept what we didn't directly choose. Either way, we need faith, eh?
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